just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
