The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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