U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
