I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
