I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
