please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
