Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
