I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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