oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So squirting runs in the family.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
