thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
