i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
