i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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