Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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