You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
