We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
