Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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