Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
