If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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