I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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