is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
