You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
