You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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