Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
