Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
