Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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