So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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