Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
