okay pat passed out under dana's car
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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