Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
