Me. At least after what I've been through.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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