omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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