I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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