Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
