if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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