covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
