The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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