i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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