would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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