Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
