Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
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