I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
