I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
