Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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