You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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