Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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