if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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