Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
