He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
