Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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