So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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