I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
