it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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